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<title>A Letter to Alistair - Left in his Bedroll by Carmen_Willow</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22443112">A Letter to Alistair - Left in his Bedroll</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmen_Willow/pseuds/Carmen_Willow'>Carmen_Willow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Alistair - Fandom, Dragon Age: Origins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:33:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>540</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22443112</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmen_Willow/pseuds/Carmen_Willow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Having accidentally gotten Alistair's hopes up for romance, only to have to dash them, Sieglinde Aeducan writes to apologize.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alistair/Female Warden (Dragon Age)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Letter to Alistair - Left in his Bedroll</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alistair, my friend, and comrade in arms,</p>
<p>I write to tell you how much it hurt to disappoint you so. I was so overcome with emotion, I did not explain myself adequately and fear I hurt you deeply.</p>
<p>First of all, you are a wonderful man, a handsome, attractive, lovely man; and you were so tempting, an elegant, rich entree that I wanted so much to taste. It was so difficult to push myself away, but I had to do it. It would have been easy to take your innocence, to show you how it can be between a man and a woman. I would have loved it so, but it wouldn't have been right because it would never have lasted.</p>
<p>I, like you, am royalty. Unlike you, my friend, I know the vagaries of that life. I've lived it, and it cost me the man I loved deeply, a man I had been with for a long time. I lost him to custom and rules, to mistakes and fate, to politics and exile. If we succeed in our task, if you survive the Blight, you will be King of Ferelden with all that being king entails. I could not be by your side because there are those who would say that I was ruling from the shadows. True or not, it would be believed and could cost you everything. Politics, rules, and fate. Even before it begins, I can see its end, and I will not lose another man that way.</p>
<p>And, of course, there is the Blight. You and I are stumbling in the darkness, looking for the way to save our world. Our chances aren't the best. In fact, it may take a miracle of the ancestors and your Andraste to help us succeed. We cannot be starry-eyed, in the throes of passion and love. I promised you, throes of passion take entirely too much energy. We need to conserve our emotional strength for our task.</p>
<p>But you have Zevran, you say. Yes. I have Zevran, entertaining and loveable Zevran. He, like me, is a survivor of many emotional and romantic entanglements. Like me, he has been wounded and healed and has scars to prove it. If I die trying to end the Blight, he will be sad, but he will go on, move on, taking his pleasure where he finds it. I suppose it seems conceited, but I think you would be devastated, so devastated that you might not have the heart to finish our work. It wouldn't be from a lack of courage, I know how brave you are. It would be from suffering a blow so new, so painful that you would need more time than you'd have to recover. Yes, conceited, but we cannot risk that. Better you should lose a comrade than a lover.</p>
<p>No, it's better to end it now, before it begins. Before kisses and encounters. I truly hope that there is a woman in your future who will love you as deeply as you will love her. I hope that you and she will be utterly and completely devoted to one another. You, my friend, my comrade in arms, deserve that woman for you are a lovely man.</p>
<p>Sieglinde</p>
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